A woman named Susan helps me with the next illusion. Susan was a 40 a day smoker and she said cigarettes gave her confidence. What ensued was like a game. It went like this.
‘Do you mean you have no confidence?’
‘Yes, that’scorrect. Cigarette gives me confidence. I have no confidence.’
‘Are you sure you have no confidence?’
‘Yes, I’m sure.’
‘Are you truly sure you have no confidence?’
‘Yes, I’m truly sure I have no confidence.’
‘ Are you really, really, really sure you have no confidence?’
‘Yes, I’m truly, really, really sure I have no confidence.’
‘So you’re confident about that, yet you are not smoking now.’
She looked at me and said: ‘That’s right!’
‘So it’s not that you don’t have confidence. Of course everyone has confidence. Everyone has a resource when they achieve something and they were confident about it. And there are things that you face on a daily basis and you’re confident that you can do them, or you face situations you have to do and you’re confident that you can.’
That was the real point. Just think of some part in your life or something that you do where you are confident. You don’t have to be smoking to feel that way, do you? Therefore, you are actually confident without smoking. Cigarettes do not give you confidence. They create an illusion that makes you believe they give you confidence.
Changing the meaning
What do the following words mean to you?
Love
Passion
Desire
Anger
Hate
These words, all familiar to you and in common usage, are powerful because the experiences and references you attach to them magnify the emotional intensity that you feel when you read them. This pushes the emotional intensity higher still. Now think about the following phrases.
‘I can’t’ implies that you have little or no control, and your mind registers this as a weakening.
‘I should’ implies you have an obligation, without any firm commitment.
‘I could’ begins to open up opportunity and the potential of choice.
‘It’s not my fault’ shows lack of responsibility, giving away control to someone or something else.’I will’ shows commitment to action in line with the goal.
And how do things change when you alter the word? What happens when you replace ‘unable’ with ‘challenging’, or ‘fear’ with ‘excitement’? And how about ‘failure’ with ‘learning experience’?
They are all words or symbols, but they can be clothed with the meaning you want them to have.