Learn About – and Change – How You Think
One if the key tool in strengthening our stress management capability is managing our thoughts. If we think positively, we’re likely to enjoy positive results. Negative thinking, on the other hand, can lead to outcomes we don’t want.
Positive and negative thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies: What we expect can often come true.
If you start off thinking that you’ll mess up a task, the chances are that you will: You may not try hard enough to succeed, you won’t attract support from other people, and you may not perceive any results as good enough.
Positive thinking, on the other hand, is often associated with positive actions and outcomes. You have hope and faith in yourself and others and you work and invest hard to prove that your optimism is warranted. You’ll enthuse others, and they may well “pitch in” to help you. This makes constructive outcomes all the more likely and your stress management is enhanced.
When it comes down to it, positive, optimistic people are happier and healthier, and enjoy more success than those who think negatively. The key difference between them is how they think about and interpret the events in their life.
Key Stress Management Technique
Turn Negatives into Positives
The first step in this stress management technique in changing negative thinking is to become aware of it. For many of us, negative thinking is a bad habit – and we may not even know we’re doing it!
Consider this example: The guy on the subway who just made a face is surely directing his behaviour at you. When the receptionist doesn’t greet you in the morning, you must have done something to anger her. Again! You go straight to the coffee machine, because it’s Monday morning and you just know you’ll be solving problems until lunchtime. When you finally get to your desk, your assistant is waiting for you. “Oh no,” you think. “What has he done now? The first problem of the day. yippee!”
If you’re feeling bad after reading this, imagine how it would feel to surround yourself with that much negativity. Then ask yourself if this is the way you tend to think in your own life?
Dr Martin Seligman, who has been described as America’s most influential psychologist, has done extensive research on thought patterns and how they impact on our stress management abilities. In particular, he looks at the impact of an optimistic versus pessimistic outlook on life and success.
Seligman says we explain events using three basic dimensions of Permanence, Pervasiveness and Personalization, with optimistic people on one end of the scale and pessimistic people on the other. We look how these can help improve stress management.
Permanence
Your score shows how far you believe that something you are experiencing is either permanent or temporary. A low score implies that you think bad times will carry on forever. A high score shows confidence that you’ll be able to get things back on course quickly.
Pessimist: I lost my job and I’ll never find one as good again. No point even looking!
Optimist: I lost my job. Thank goodness there are other opportunities I can explore!
Pervasiveness
Your score shows how far you believe that situational factors cause an effect, as opposed to the view that the effect is evidence of more universal factors at work. A low score shows that you tend to think that if you’ve experienced a problem in one place, you’ll experience that problem wherever you go.
Pessimist: I lost my job. Companies are all the same; all they care about is money. I don’t know why I bother putting in any effort at all.
Optimist: I lost my job. It’s too bad our company has to reinvent itself to stay competitive. Thankfully I learned some great transferable skills!
Personalization
Your score shows how far you believe that something about you influenced the outcome, as opposed to the view that something external to you caused it. A low score indicates that you tend to blame yourself for bad things, rather than attributing the cause to more general factors.
Pessimist: I lost my job. If I had been a decent employee they would have found a new job for me.
Optimist: I lost my job. I gave it my all, however they just can’t use my skill set right now.
Re-shape Your Thinking
Your answers to the questions in this quiz can show whether you have a positive or negative pattern of thinking and hence the degree of your stress management ability. They’re also great starting points to become more aware of your thoughts – and the effect they have on your life.
When you’re aware of the way you think, you can take action to use positive situations to your advantage, and re-shape the negative ones. In using this stress management technique the goal is to think positively, regardless of the situation, and make a conscious effort to see opportunities instead of obstacles.
So, in our example, if you immediately think the receptionist is mad at you because she didn’t say hello, how rational is that? Could she have been busy or distracted when you walked by? Did you say hello to her? Maybe she wasn’t feeling well, or she was in a negative mood herself. These are all more rational reasons for her behaviour than simply assuming that you did something wrong.
To help improve your stress management abilities and help you start thinking positively, see our comprehensive article on Rational Positive Thinking. This is a “must read” for everyone, even very positive thinkers, because it shows why positive thinking is so important, and it discusses how to turn negative thought patterns into positive ones.